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John and Max are elderly men living next door to each other. They’re continuously arguing and insulting each other, and have been this way for over 50 years. One day, Ariel, moves into the street. Both men are attracted to her, and their rivalry steps up a gear.

More than 300 years ago, 3 witches were sentenced to die in Salem, Massachusetts and a boy was turned into a cat (a black cat, naturally). Now it’s Halloween, and the witches (who fly on [I kid you not] vacuum cleaners) are back. This time, they’ve got their eyes on immortal life and have turned their wrath on trick-or-treaters and it’s up to the 300-year-old cat to save the day.

Frank Horrigan is a secret service agent who keeps thinking back to November 22, 1963, when, as a hand-picked agent by President Kennedy, he became one of the few agents to have lost a President to an assassin when Kennedy died. Now, former CIA assassin Mitch Leary is stalking the current President, who is running for re-election. Mitch has spent long hours studying Horrigan, and he taunts Horrigan, telling him of his plans to kill the President. Leary plans to kill the president because Leary feels betrayed by the government — Leary was removed from the CIA, and the CIA is now trying to have him killed. After talking to Leary, Horrigan makes sure he is assigned to presidential protection duty, working with fellow secret service agent Lilly Raines. Horrigan has no intention of failing his President this time around, and he’s more than willing to take a bullet. White House Chief of Staff Harry Sargent refuses to alter the President’s itinerary, while Horrigan’s boss, Secret Service Director Sam Campagna, is supportive of Horrigan. As the election gets closer, Horrigan begins to doubt his own abilities, especially when Horrigan’s colleague Al D’Andrea is killed by Leary. But Horrigan may be the only one who can stop Leary.

The standard story of Robin Hood: Evil Prince John is oppressing the people while good King Richard is away on the Crusades. Robin steals from the tax collectors, wins an archery contest, defeats the Sheriff, and rescues Maid Marian. In this version, however, Mel Brooks adds his own personal touch, parodying traditional adventure films, romance films, and the whole idea of men running around the woods in tights.